Week 17: Let the Word Dwell in You

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly." ~ Col. 3:16

Dwell means to live in. The Word, therefore, is not merely to be stored away in us. It should be alive in us. It shouldn't just pass through our heads on Sunday morning. It should have a permanent home in us. It should dwell there, richly, abundantly, plentifully.

We can experience the Bible by reading it, listening to it, meditating on it, and hearing it preached. If we want the Word to "dwell" in us, however, we need to commit it to memory. I've never been consistent about memorizing Bible verses. No doubt I'm worse off for it, because the Bible tells us plainly that Bible memorization is a beneficial practice.

Memorizing God's Word helps us overcome sin and Satan. "How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. . . . I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:9, 11. When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, he recited passages from Deuteronomy and thus overcame Satan. Matt. 4:1-11. Having scripture memorized also allows us to more effectively comfort and encourage people. "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver." Proverbs 25:11. That's a real purty way of saying that the right word at the right time can be nourishing and precious. A word of scripture spoken from the heart at the right moment can be much more powerful than our own words. Here are some other endorsements of the practice of Bible memorization:

Bible memorization is absolutely fundamental to spiritual formation. If I had to choose between all the disciplines of the spiritual life, I would choose Bible memorization, because it is a fundamental way of filling our minds with what it needs.

~ Dallas Willard, Christian author and teacher

I know of no other single practice in Christian life more rewarding, practically speaking, than memorizing Scripture. . . . No other single exercise pays greater spiritual dividends! Your prayer life will be strengthened. Your witnessing will be sharper and much more effective. Your attitudes and outlook will begin to change. Your mind will become alert and observant. Your confidence and assurance will be enhanced. Your faith will be solidified.

~ Charles Swindoll, Christian author and pastor

Where to begin? Romans 8 is one of my favorite Bible passages. It also just happens to be pretty much universally recognized as the greatest chapter in the greatest letter in Bible. Martin Luther said this about the Book of Romans:

This letter is truly the most important piece of the New Testament. It is purest Gospel. It is well worth a Christian's while not only to memorize it word for word but also to occupy himself with it daily, as though it were the daily bread of the soul. It is impossible to read or to meditate on this letter too much or too well. The more one deals with it, the more precious it becomes and the better it tastes.

I'm not going to memorize Romans 8 in one week. I am, however, going to start. I'm aiming for one verse per day, and I'm asking God for discipline to see it through to the last verse of the chapter.

Week 16: Do Not Exasperate Your Children, Part 2

Last week's command was Ephesians 6:4, which says: "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." As a dad, I've done some things well, and it shows. I have two very good little boys. They're confident, affectionate, strong-willed, usually polite and fun-loving.

Both of my sons, however, have trouble with anger, and I have little doubt that I'm to blame for that, at least partially. To be honest, I say things to my boys that I would never say to anyone else. As a parent, you have almost absolute power over your kids, and I've abused that power. Almost daily, through harsh words, I express anger and irritation at my boys---usually over little things like a mess at the breakfast table or toys left out in the living room. I've been guilty of discouraging, exasperating and provoking the boys to anger.

I wish that I could report that the anger problem was solved this week, but that wouldn't be honest. The truth is I had successes and failures. Things were better, and I hope that I'm headed in the right direction. I'm praying for patience and gentleness. I'm praying for God to uproot anger from my heart. I'm committed to being more generous with praise and encouragement. I'm trying to overcome my tendency to focus on the things my boys do wrong. I'm committed to focusing on their strengths, instead of their weaknesses.

Friends, being a dad is plain, pure, hard work! It's also a huge responsibility in a life full of responsibilities. Sometimes I long for a more carefree life---a life with fewer attachments and obligations. I'm not sure, but I bet most dads feel like that sometimes. On the other hand, I wouldn't trade my boys for the world.

Logan and Ethan, if you read this someday, I love you. I'm proud of you, and I'm proud to be your father. I know that I'm making mistakes. I don't have all the answers, although I pretend that I do sometimes. I sometimes worry that I'm failing you. I'm praying for wisdom. Thank God that you belong to Him and that I am merely your caretaker for awhile. I'm praying for your futures, for the lives you will lead, and for the men you will become. God bless you.

Week 16: Do Not Exasperate Your Children, Part 1

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 (NIV)

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 (ESV)

"Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master." Ephesians 6:4 (The Message)

I hope and pray that someday my grown-up kids will say that I was a good dad. I think I'm a pretty good dad. Christina and I have been successful as parents in many ways. I'll give one example of something we've done right. Every night for years, we've put the boys to bed with a Bible story, a prayer of blessing, hugs and kisses, and "Jesus Loves Me."

Even good dads have failures. My greatest failure as a father has been too little kindness in my correction and discipline. I'm not so naive to think that every morning is going to be like a Disney movie with kisses, smiles and little birdies flitting around and chirping a merry song. Having kids forces you to come to grips with the fact that humans are sinful by nature. Kids need rules, boundaries and limitations. They need parents who enforce those rules, boundaries and limitations. God has ordained that children should obey their parents and that children should be disciplined for disobedience. Eph. 6:1-3; Prov. 13:24 (spare the rod and spoil the child). There are going to be mornings when the boys are being rotten and legitimately need to be sent to time out or spanked.

The truth is parenting is tough, difficult work. I've read the books on parenting (some good and some not so good). I've heard the sermons. I've talked to parents that are a few years or many years ahead of Christina and me. The bottom line is that there is no easy to follow formula for good parenting. Anyone who promises to give you the seven or ten or twelve simple steps to effective parenting is full of Oscar Mayer. Parenting is more art than science. Some of the best advice I've ever heard (and forgive me I don't remember the source) is to remember that discipline is a long term investment. It's not about getting immediate results. If your expectation is that you will discipline today and see a different kid tomorrow, you're setting yourself up for frustration.

The greatest challenge for me as a dad has been disciplining with kindness and gentleness. I love The Message translation of Ephesians 6:4---"take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master." Too often I'm leading my boys, not gently by the hand, but by the scruff of the neck. As I lock my jaw and gnash down on my teeth, I'm dragging them kicking and screaming in the way I think they ought to go. I want them to obey me, and NOW! And, if necessary to make them do what I want, I will come down hard on them using threats and intimidation to get compliance. While harsh words of criticism come readily from my mouth, I don't praise and encourage the boys nearly enough. What difference will all those Bible stories, prayers and blessings make in my boys if they don't see my faith making a difference in me?

God, I pray that You would turn my heart. That You would take harshness out my heart and my thinking and replace it with gentleness. That Your patience and kindness would be evident to my children even as I discipline them. What can I do to observe this command, except wait for You to change my heart? Give me wisdom and lead me, Lord, in the way I should go as a father.

As I wrestle with this in prayer, I thank those of you who are praying for me and with me. More thoughts on this at the end of the week. Until then, grace and peace to you.

"From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so." James 3:10

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The Danger of Legalism

I wrote a post last week about the danger of doing what comes naturally. Since then, I've been thinking about the other side of the coin---the danger of legalism.

What Legalism is Not.

Legalism is a word that is thrown about carelessly these days. Making a diligent effort to understand and obey God's commands is discipleship, not legalism. The Apostle Paul compared Christian discipleship to athletic training:

I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

1 Cor. 9:25-27.

What Legalism Is.

The word "legalism" does not appear in the Bible, but the Pharisees are the primary example. The Pharisees' root problem was not that they tried too hard to obey God. Their problem was that they did not trust God. They didn't trust that God's law was sufficient to purify God's people, so they added their own rules and regulations. They didn't trust that God's grace was sufficient to purify them, so they sought to become righteous by their own efforts. They didn't trust that God's love would be sufficient to fulfill them, so they pursued the praise of men. Jesus had harsh words for the unbelieving and legalistic Pharisees, calling them hypocrites, white washed tombs, and a brood of vipers. Matt. 23.

Obedience Pleasing to God.

These two dangers that I've discussed---doing what comes naturally and legalism---are not opposites. To the contrary, they are two sides of the same coin sharing the common roots of unbelief and distrust of God.

God-pleasing obedience is rooted in faith and trust. Trusting God will not make obedience come easily or without effort. Remember Jesus's agony in the Garden of Gethsemane. He was in anguish over what the Father had called Him to. He prayed that the cup of death might pass from Him, but ultimately prayed: "Not my will, but yours be done." Lk. 23:39-46. We are called to follow Jesus's example. We respond to God's commands, not as if we are ignorant of the challenges ahead and without apprehension, but ultimately surrendering to God's will believing that He is trustworthy and that His ways are better than ours.

Resisting the Danger of Legalism.

Because we are prideful and sinful little creatures, when we get serious about obeying God's commands there is a risk of legalism creeping into our hearts. How can we resist it? We pray that God would give us greater faith. We see examples of spiritual pride in the Pharisees or in the world around us, and we don't say: "Thank God, I'm not like that!" Instead, we pray with holy fear: "God, please don't let that be me!" We are transparent with one another about our sin and shortcomings. We remember that but for Jesus we would be hopelessly lost. Without hiding our faith or concealing what God is doing in us, we nourish our private and personal relationship with God by spending time alone with Him in Bible reading and prayer.

Week 15: Live as if Not Engrossed in the Things of the World

Those who use the things of the world, [should live] as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. ~ 1 Corinthians 7:31

We humans long to find meaning and satisfaction in our finite lives. We tend to look in the wrong places, getting engrossed in worldly things. Engrossed...I love that word. It means to be captivated by, to give your attention completely to something. People get engrossed in all sorts of things. Building wealth or career. Following sports or television shows. Playing video games. Hobbies. Collections. Social networking web-sites. Blogs!

This week's command calls us away from the worldly things in which we have become "engrossed." It calls us to turn our attention to things that will last. What will last? Expressions of holiness, godliness and submissive obedient love for God will follow us into eternity.

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. ~ 2 Cor. 5:10

The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. ~ 1 Cor. 3:8

"Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done." ~ Rev. 22:12

"Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds." Rev. 2:23b

"I tell you the truth," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life." Mk 10:29-30

When we become engrossed in worldly things, we miss out on the good works God has intended for us and, thus, we will miss out on heavenly rewards God has planned for us. We're not commanded to not use or to not enjoy worldly things. Rather, we're commanded to not become engrossed in them.

I'm asking myself this question: With what worldly things have I become engrossed? What, other than God, do I tend to give my attention completely to? One thing that immediately comes to mind is St. Louis Cardinals baseball. From February (when pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training) through September, and Lord willing, well into October, I am a Cardinals fanatic. The word "obsession" is used carelessly these days. I'm not obsessed (maybe my wife would disagree), but it's safe to say that I am engrossed in Cardinals baseball for months every year. This week, I am going to take at least several days away from baseball and think about how to incorporate the game into my life at a healthier level.

The Danger of Doing What Comes Naturally

Last week's assignment was the holy kiss, which I observed with holy hugs for reasons that I explained at the beginning of last week. Some hug recipients (hugees?) posed an interesting question. Is a hug less meaningful when it is planned and not spontaneous? That question prompted me to ask a bigger one. Is obedience less God glorifying when it is planned and premeditated instead of naturally and spontaneously flowing from us? Here is my response.

The Myth of Spontaneity

No act of obedience to God is spontaneous. Humans don't, for example, have a service reflex, a charity reflex, or a mercy reflex. When we do what God says, then we've made a decision to obey Him. If we don't feel like doing what He's told us to do and give into that feeling of apathy or passiveness, then we've made a decision to disobey God. Neither obedience nor disobedience happens spontaneously or accidentally.

The Danger of Doing What Comes Naturally

Not only do humans not naturally do what is right, we are instinctively inclined to do what is wrong. If you don't believe this, have a child. Then, wait a couple years. A two or three year old is a great lesson in the doctrine of the sin nature. There is great danger in only doing what comes to us naturally. The danger is that our natures, whether we are Christians or not, are sinful and cannot be trusted. Paul said: "I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin." Romans 7:25. So, which should be trusted, our natural instincts which are sinful, or our minds that know God's law?

In Week One of The Project, I was convicted of having disobeyed the command to care for widows. I had failed to give my own grandma companionship, neglecting my duty to visit her at the nursing home. Since then, I've been visiting Grandma every Monday evening. To be honest, most Mondays I don't feel like going. It's not fun. Grandma doesn't remember who I am, and I have no reason to believe that she will this side of heaven. This doesn't mean that I don't love Grandma. Deep inside, I want to obey God and care for my Grandma. But, my natural inclination is to do the wrong thing, not the right one. There hasn't been a Monday yet when I felt a great desire welling up in me to go the nursing home. Would it be better then to be spontaneous, to do what comes naturally, and to not visit Grandma?

The kind of obedience that Jesus calls us to is the kind of obedience that exceeds what we naturally feel like doing. We're called to do many things that will never feel natural---like loving our enemies. Jesus asked, "If you love those who love you [which we might do naturally], what reward will you get?" Matthew 5:46. God is more glorified and our reward is greater, when we obey His commands despite what our natural instincts might cause us to do spontaneously.

Doesn't Planned Obedience Negate the Leading of the Holy Spirit?

In charismatic circles, we sometimes talk about being "Spirit led." This is NOT a bunch of charismatic mumbo jumbo. The Holy Spirit leads us, if we will tune in and listen. But, the main way that we hear from God is through His Word, which was inspired by the Holy Spirit. Waiting around for the Spirit to move us to do what God has commanded in His Bible is absolute nonsense. Rather, the greater our effort to humbly obey and submit to the Bible, the more clearly and frequently we will sense the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Obedience is the Kind of Worship that Requires Practice

In many churches, we use the word "worship" to describe singing praises to God. This is a particular kind of worship, but it is not all of worship. Worship is much bigger and more demanding than singing a song. In its highest form, worship is complete surrender to God---the offering of our bodies as living sacrifices. Romans 12:1. All of life is worship.

When we sing praises on Sunday morning we sing lyrics that have been carefully crafted. Those lyrics are set to a tune that has also been painstakingly composed. We are led in worship by a band that has met and practiced together. Even before the musicians meet to practice together they have spent a great deal of time (years maybe) becoming proficient at their instruments. There is much planning, intentionality and rehearsal involved in singing praises on Sunday morning.

If such planning is necessary to accomplish "worship" on Sunday mornings, then why would we ever think that we could worship God with all of our lives (which is infinitely more difficult) without practicing the art of obedience and surrender a bit at a time? How can we become virtuoso at lifestyle worship, if we don't first take time to learn the basic notes and chords? At the art of lifestyle worship, I am no virtuoso but a mere novice. Perhaps none of us ever get beyond novice status here on earth. One goal of this project, however, is to become more familiar with the basic notes.

Week 14: A Holy . . . Hug?

"Greet one another with a holy kiss." ~ Romans 16:16, 1 Cor. 16:20, 2 Cor. 13:12, 1 Thess. 5:26, 1 Peter 5:14


What do you think about the "holy kiss?" It's commanded five times in the New Testament in letters by the Apostles Paul and Peter. Is it a universally binding requirement for all believers? I think that's a difficult question.


First, here is what we can say with confidence about the holy kiss. It is holy. It's not the kiss of adultery, fornication, homosexuality, or seduction. If that's the only way you can kiss, then no doubt it would be better not to do so at all. The holy kiss is a kiss of brotherly or sisterly family affection. Every day, I kiss my boys when I leave for work. I kiss them when I come home in the evening. I kiss them goodnight at the end of the day. Every Monday evening when I visit my Grandma at the nursing home, I give her a kiss goodbye when I leave. Within a healthy family, a kiss is a normal and natural demonstration of love and affection. I think that's the spirit and the feeling behind the holy kiss commanded in the New Testament. For the church, it is at least a call to greet each other with more than mere words. It is a call to a physical demonstration of our love for one another.


So, what about the kiss? After praying and thinking about this, I've finally decided not to observe this command by kissing. The kiss was a culturally common greeting in the first century. For example, when Jesus was invited to dinner by Simon the Pharisee, Jesus noted that Simon failed to give him a kiss as was the custom. Luke 7:45. It wasn't unusual when Judas greeted Jesus with a kiss (Luke 22:48), although Judas's kiss was certainly an unholy kiss.


Paul and Peter were taking what was already common in the culture and admonishing members of the church to make it a holy expression of their love for one another. In our culture, greeting people outside your immediate family with a kiss is not common. For most people, I don't believe a kiss would communicate what Paul and Peter intended. It would not, in my opinion, be acceptable in our culture for me to kiss female members of my church---with the exception of one, who happens to be my wife. Even if the kiss were holy in my own mind and heart, it could easily convey the wrong message to the recipient or to bystanders. Kissing men in my church would no doubt make most of them extremely uncomfortable. Even if it didn't, I'm afraid it might make visitors to the church very uncomfortable. My conclusion is that, in our culture, I don't think a kiss honors the true spirit of this commandment. Perhaps our culture is the poorer for it, and maybe the first century culture was a better, healthier one.


On the other hand, I don't think a hearty handshake (or even worse the "fist bump") demonstrates what Jesus wants us to feel for each other. After giving this all quite a bit of thought, I've finally settled on hugging. This week, therefore, is all about embracing the embrace.

Week 13: Offer Hospitality to One Another

"Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling." 1 Peter 4:9

There are no solo Christians. God doesn't allow it. If you think you can do Christianity all by yourself, you're wrong. "We who are many form one body and each member belongs to the others." Romans 12:5. Jesus said that the mark of his disciples would be that they love one another. John 13:34-35. The call to belong to one another and to love one another requires much more than attendance at a Sunday morning service. God calls us to share our lives with one another. He calls us beyond the superficial small talk of Sunday morning. He calls us to follow the example of the members of the early church who "devoted themselves . . . to fellowship" and who "broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts." Acts 2:42-47.

There are many ways for us to share our lives together. I've been in a small group for most of the last eighteen years. Christina and I have been attending a mid-week small group together for the last eight years. It's a habit that has made all the difference in my life. Through small group, I've made deep friendships with people that have enriched me, encouraged me and changed me.

Last week's command was First Peter 4:9: "Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling." The call to hospitality is about taking a small practical step towards deeper relationships. It is about opening the doors to our homes and our souls and letting people see what is really there. This last week, Christina and I had people into our home for Ethan's fourth birthday party. I had some guys from small group over for a late night game night. Neither event seemed very spiritually significant to me, but I tend to underestimate the value of just spending time and having fun together. Don't you find it easier to serve, encourage and pray for others effectively, when you have a shared foundation of friendship and fellowship?

Hospitality comes easily and naturally to Christina, but not for me. I'm an introvert. What I mean by that is I'm energized by time alone and with those closest to me and drained by time with big groups of people. Christina, on the other hand, gains energy and strength by being with a lot of people. It's not that Christina likes people, and I don't. I just enjoy them more in smaller doses. You can always find me at the edges of the party or the fringe of the group. I'd be very happy to chat with you, but I don't want to be in the middle of things. And, to be honest, I'm stingy about my precious little "free time." As a result, I'm often reluctant to have people over and then grouch and complain when we're preparing our home for guests.

Here is my problem. God not only commands us to offer hospitality but to do so "without grumbling." During this project, I've realized that God commands not only our actions but also our thoughts and feelings. He wants me to be a certain kind of person. He wants me to have a deep and sincere affection for His people. He wants me to reflect his grace and generosity. It's not something that I can muster up on my own. On the other hand, my personal inability to obey God's commands does not excuse my failure to do so. My only choice is to pray that God will change my heart.

Here is the good news. God changes hearts. He has been changing mine, and he continues to change it. I don't think God is going to turn me into an extrovert, although he could. There is a place for us shy introverts in the church. On the other hand, God has been cultivating and nurturing in me a greater love for His people. Christian love is not something we acquire all at once. It is a growing thing. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Thessalonians: "We ought to always thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing." 2 Thess. 1:3. For those of us who still have a lot of growing to do, we can say with confidence that what God has started, he will complete. "[H]e who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6.

There are still times when I've hit my limit and need to be alone for my own sanity and the well-being of people around me. I find, however, that I enjoy fellowship now more than I ever have, and it's exciting to feel God's liberating power overcoming my brokenness and self-centeredness.

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This week, I finish my "one another" commands, with the one command I've been dreading more than any other. "Greet one another with a holy kiss." Romans 16:16. More on that tonight or tomorrow. Until then, grace and peace to you.