Weeks 24 & 25 (Preview): Don't Complain; Give Thanks

"Do everything without complaining or arguing." Phil. 2:14

"Always [give] thanks to God for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Eph. 5:20

I'm merging weeks twenty-four and twenty-five. I have two reasons for this. First, I expect to be pretty busy for the next couple weeks, and this will somewhat ease the posting burden. Second, these commands go together. Thankfulness and complaining can't exist in the same space, and the idea for the next two weeks is to replace complaining speech with thankful speech.

Within the next couple days, my beloved wife Christina will give birth to our third child and first daughter, Josie Leigh. That's right; "Josie" never appeared on the baby name poll. Sorry. I did say it was a non-binding poll.

The name "Josie" is a short form of Josephine, which is a feminine form of Joseph. The meaning of "Joseph" is "Jehovah increases." Isn't that true? God increases, and He often does it in unexpected ways. There are two major biblical characters named Joseph, and the truth that "God increases" is illustrated by both of their lives. When Jacob's son, Joseph, was young, he had visions that his brothers would someday bow down to him. He never envisioned, however, the path that God would take him down---through slavery, prison, and eventually to Pharaoh's right hand. Jesus's earthly father, Joseph, knew that he was getting a wife and probably looked forward to having children, but he never imagined that his bride would bear the Christ-child.

I'm thirty-five years old, and I'm not living the life that I planned. When I was a kid and a younger man, I had a lot of ambitions. I had no ambition, however, to become a husband or father. I had my plans, but the Lord directed my steps. He's given me much more than I dreamed of. Christina and I have been married for over ten years. She has enriched my life, and I am amazed at how great and growing are the blessings God has given us. To be honest, I was never super excited about having kids. As God has increased my family, however, He has expanded my heart. Now, I think our boys are amazing and precious, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. When I think about the life I wanted and compare it to the life God has given me, there is really no comparison at all. God has given me a life immeasurably bigger, richer, and better than anything I ever imagined.

I still had mixed feelings about adding a third child to the family. To be honest (and I'm still trying to be more honest), I didn't want another kid at all! It's been four years since Christina and I dealt with late night feedings, poopy diapers and spit-up. And, we're four years older. And, I don't remember all that stuff being any fun seven years ago or four years ago. On some level, however, I know that this is God increasing. I know that a little girl is a tremendous blessing. I know that as God increases our family, He will once again expand my heart.

On the other hand, I'm inclined to lose perspective when elbow deep in poopy diapers and spit-up. Being honest again, I'm generally inclined to complain and grumble about life and to not be thankful. So, here is my assignment for Weeks 24 and 25: to do everything without complaining and grumbling, and to always give thanks to God.

There's something else that strikes me about the story of Joseph (Jacob's son). Through betrayal, slavery and prison, he never complained about his circumstances. What was his secret? I think it was that he never stopped believing that God was good and in control. His core belief about God's sovereignty is what freed him to be thankful in all circumstances and even to forgive his brothers who betrayed him. Joseph was able to say that everything that had happened in his life was intended by God for His good purposes. Gen. 45:4-8, 50:15-21.

I hope and pray that as I try to replace complaining with thankfulness in my speech and heart that my daughter's name, "Josie," will serve as a reminder of Joseph's example, that God increases, and that He is good and always in control.

Week 23: Speak Truthfully

"Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body." ~ Ephesians 4:25

In the spirit of this week's command, here is some honesty about this blog. The truth is I'd rather be watching the baseball game right now than writing this post, but I don't want people to think I'm a quitter. So, here I am. The truth is that sometimes I'm sorry that I ever started The James 1:22 Project. The truth is I'm not completely sure why I started this or why I keep going. The truth is that I probably have mixed motives about it. I really want to become a doer of God's word. I really want God to be glorified. But, I also want people to read what I'm writing and say nice things about it. I love to get comments from readers at the end of these posts, and I'm always a little crestfallen when a post doesn't get any. I want to be affirmed and appreciated. I want people to think that I'm smart, and a good writer, and full of Godly wisdom. That's the truth. And so, like I said, here I am, with mixed motives but praying that God would keep my heart right. [To be clear, I'm not begging for comments. I'm not even going to allow comments to this particular post.]

This is the first command in a series of commands related to our speech. God cares a lot about the honesty of our speech.

• Proverbs 6:16-17, "There are six things which the Lord hates, seven which are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and a man who sows discord among brothers."
• Proverbs 12:22, "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord."
• Proverbs 12:19, "Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment."
• Revelation 21:7-8, "He who conquers shall have this heritage, and I will be his God and he shall be my son. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the polluted, as for murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their lot shall be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."

Seven things are an abomination to the Lord. Two of them are lying. Get the point? I'm not a habitual liar, but I can't say that I never lie. Just this evening, I gave the boys chocolate donut holes for dessert, and I told them that they were bear scat. Let me explain that one. We recently watched an episode of Man vs. Wild, where the host, Bear Grylls, eats half digested unidentified something that he picks out of bear scat. So, I thought the bear scat routine was pretty funny. The boys were actually not amused, and I had to 'fess up. Once, when the boys wouldn't stay in bed at night, I told them that I was going to release poisonous snakes in their room if they didn't stay in bed. I got that one from Bill Cosby. The boys were so terrified about the possibility of poisonous snakes in the house that I had to very quickly confess to them that I was only joking. Maybe I'm not the world's greatest dad. When it comes to lying, I'm no angel.

More commonly, however, falsehood in my life is not about lying but about what I choose to keep to myself. I tend to hide what I'm struggling with. I'm afraid of being embarrassed and losing esteem in the eyes of others. I want the praise and the approval of others. I hate to admit when I'm weak and I'm struggling. I want people to think that I've got it all together. I don't want people to know that I struggle with pride, insecurity and anger.

So, starting last week, I'm trying to be more candid about my flaws and sins. I'm especially trying to be more open and transparent with my Christian brothers and sisters, because I know that's the path to receiving more of God's forgiveness, mercy and healing. It's no accident that, in Ephesians 4:25, Paul specifically admonishes the members of the Ephesian church to speak truthfully to their neighbors as "members of one body." Back in Week Six, I made a big confession of past sins to my pastor. It was frightening but also liberating and empowering. I'm so glad that I did it. I can see now, however, that it's more important to live a lifestyle of transparency and confession than to make one single big confession.

It Is Well With My Soul

Here is another one of those posts not directly related to The James 1:22 Project.

I recently heard, for the first time, the story behind the hymn "It is Well with My Soul." It was written by Horatio Spafford, a Chicago attorney. In 1871, the great Chicago fire swept through the city, and Spafford, who was heavily invested in Chicago real estate, was financially ruined. In 1873, Spafford had planned to travel to Europe with his family. Detained on business, Spafford sent his wife and four daughters ahead on the SS Ville Du Havre. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship sank after colliding with another ship. All four of Spafford's daughters died. Spafford's wife, Anna, sent him a telegram: "Saved alone." As Spafford himself travelled to meet his wife and his own ship passed near where his daughters had died, Spafford went below deck and wrote the words to the hymn.

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to know,
It is well, it is well, with my soul

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more.
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It’s an amazing example that in his moment of greatest pain, Spafford found comfort in the cross. When we can’t understand how any good could possibly come from the evil and pain that we endure in our lives, we also should look to the cross. It is the best picture of how God can use profound evil and pain to bring about beauty and joy. John Piper says, “[In the cross] is where the worst that God ever ordained and the best that God ever ordained meet and become one.” In our own lives, I think we sometimes also see that the worst that God ordains for us and the best that God ordains for us meet and become one. From our pain, he brings joy. “Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!” Psalm 126:5. At the cross, we see that our God has not subjected us to anything that He is not willing to suffer himself. Rather, when we look at the cross we see our God willing to bear ultimate pain—pain which we deserve but that He bears in our place.

Week 22: Remember Your Leaders

"Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith." ~ Hebrews 13:7

I've been thinking about our two City Lights pastors, Ben and Eric. I find them inspiring for two reasons: because they are just men, flawed like me, and because they've done something great to advance God's kingdom (unlike me). One thing I love about Ben and Eric is that they don't pretend to be something they're not. As they teach and lead the church, they share their flaws and their struggles in a way that's healthy, winsome and encouraging. On the other hand, they've done this amazing thing.

In May 2003, they and a very small team of dedicated people left comfortable homes and lives in southern Illinois to come to St. Louis and plant City Lights. Nurturing and growing a little fragile baby church hasn't been easy. Church planting is difficult work, especially in the city. For City Lights, it has sometimes felt like two steps forward and one step back. Ben and Eric have experienced set backs and pain along the journey. Through it all, they've been a steadfast example of faith and joy to the church. When attendance and then giving declined a few years ago, Ben and Eric took full time jobs outside the church so that City Lights could keep going. As a result of their obedience, lives in St. Louis have been changed for the better and souls have been saved. Their example of faithful, sacrificial, joyful obedience to God makes me want to not only be a doer of God's word but inspires me to want to live and die serving and honoring God.

The main point of Hebrews 13:7 is that we should think about the example of our leaders and imitate them. I think, however, there is a bit more involved in "remembering." As we go about living out all of those "one another" commands---serving, encouraging, praying for and offering hospitality to one another---we ought to keep in mind our leaders. We ought to remember that they are just men and women who may need our service, encouragement, friendship and prayers. Although they are working for God's sake and not the praise of men, we can be a means by which God conveys His pleasure and encouragement to them. We should show and tell our leaders that they are appreciated. I've tried to do a bit of that in the last week. It was long overdue. Of course, we should always remember to obey our leaders and submit to their authority, as the writer of Hebrews admonishes us to do a few verses after this week's command. Hebrews 13:17. No amount of encouraging words will mean anything to our leaders, if we conspire behind their backs to undermine them.

My wife and I lead a small group at City Lights. This last week, our small group members showed me a great picture of what it looks like to remember leaders. At our regular Thursday group meeting, the entire small group prayed for us. On Friday evening, a couple guys from group came to our house and helped move furniture around in preparation for the imminent arrival of our baby girl. Meanwhile, some of the ladies from small group attended a small baby shower for Christina and blessed us with some wonderful gifts. Thanks so much, dear friends! I was moved and encouraged that our group remembered us in such wonderful ways this week.

This week, I'm starting a new phase of The James 1:22 Project, as I take on the first of a series of commands related to controlling our speech. More on that in about one week. Until then, grace and peace to you.

Week 21: Work With Your Hands

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands." ~ 1 Thess. 4:11

I hope "working with your hands" includes typing, because most weeks that's the only work that I do with my hands. In response to the command to "work with your hands," I've been putting down a new floor in our kitchen. Christina has wanted a new kitchen floor for years, so a little physical labor along those lines seemed like an appropriate and practical response. I'm still working on the floor (and my back has gone out pulling and scraping up the old vinyl), but Christina tells me she's happy with the results so far. Here is a picture, below, of the half finished floor. The old white vinyl is on the bottom of the picture, and the new faux stone vinyl tile is above.

I've always enjoyed physical labor and find it much more soul-satisfying than my desk job. I think there's more to this command, however, than remodeling my kitchen floor.

Many of us, when we're growing up, dream about being successful, famous and/or rich. We want to be a star athlete. A famous actor, musician or artist. Or, maybe the President of the United States. We have dreams of changing the world. We hope to travel to exotic places. We want exciting lives full of adventure. We want to own sports cars, maybe even convertibles.

For most of us, reality turns out to be very different. We find ourselves growing older and toiling away at obscure jobs. There's no standing ovation when we do well at work. We're very far from being rich and famous. At home, daily life is full of mundane chores: laundry, dishes, running errands, and mowing the lawn. And, instead of driving sports cars, we're driving used mini-vans. As we grow up, and this reality sets in, I think there's a tendency to become disappointed with our lives. That disappointment, if allowed to linger, can turn to bitterness. It turns to bitterness that shows up when we get disproportionately upset about trivial things. We explode at our spouse or our kids, and, if we're honest, we know it has nothing to do with them or anything they said or did. I confess that I've been there, and I've done that.

Here is what God has to say to us when our reality doesn't equal our dreams. He says that we're leading just the sort of lives that we should have aspired to. "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life . . ." Isn't that an interesting command? We should have ambition, not to become rich or famous, but to lead simple humble lives. Accordingly, God commands us to work diligently at our jobs, not for the acclaim of men, but for the Lord's sake. We're supposed to invest our time and energy, not in pursuing status or wealth, but in caring for our elderly, serving our spouses and training our children to follow God. We're to cultivate relationships, not by rubbing elbows with people of influence who can further our careers, but by humbly and quietly serving the people of our local churches and the poor and needy in our communities.

If we will make it our ambition to lead such quiet, humble lives, we will be blessed. God lifts up the humble. James 4:10. The humble will be exalted. Luke 14:11. He gives grace to the humble. James 4:6. Whoever humbles himself like a child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:4.

Our God is in Control

This is one of those mid-week posts that really has nothing to do with The James 1:22 Project.

Christina (my wife) and I were listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's latest CD, Beauty Will Rise, yesterday. Chapman's five-year old daughter, Maria, was killed in an accident in 2008. She was accidentally hit by an SUV driven by her older brother. I can't imagine the anguish the Chapman family went through. Beauty Will Rise is the CD that came out of the ashes. I was thinking of the Chapman family as we listened to the CD yesterday, and I was greatly moved and encouraged by one song in particular---Our God is in Control. I wanted to share some of the lyrics.

This is not how it should be
This is not how it could be
This is how it is
And our God is in control

This is not how it will be
When we will finally see
We'll see with our own eyes
He was always in control

And we’ll sing
Holy Holy Holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we’ll sing
Holy Holy Holy is our God

While we’re waiting for that day
This is not where we planned to be
When we started this journey
This is where we are
And Our God is in control

Though this first taste is bitter
There will be sweetness forever
When we finally taste and see
That Our God is in control

God is mysterious and sometimes His ways are incomprehensible. When tragedy occurs, it's so tempting for us to say that it's the random result of living in a fallen and sinful world. We want to excuse God from responsibility for our pain and loss. There is little comfort or hope, however, in believing that our lives are a series of random events and that our God is a casual bystander. The only hope we have in tragedy is the hope that Steven Curtis Chapman found. It comes from faith that our God is always in control. The universe belongs to Him, and He is working out his purpose in everything and everyone. Ephesians 1:11. There is a plan and purpose for everything in our lives. He uses everything to make us more like Jesus. Romans 8:28-32. Though the first taste of loss may be bitter, "there will be sweetness forever."